Why Can’t I Get Horny

  • Post last modified:October 5, 2023
  • Post category:Male Health
You are currently viewing Why Can’t I Get Horny

Sexual desire (interest in having sex, or libido) is a result of a complex of emotional and physical factors triggering each other, interacting with each other, and resulting in a range of reactions that we identify as horniness, or arousal.

What is Low Libido

Libido is a variable, moreover, it is a particularly individual parameter that changes many times, being affected by thousands of different things. Some people crave sexual interaction often, some do not, and even those who are usually very sexually active may not feel like it sometimes. Thus, specialists only mention low libido when the patient’s own individual sex drive has sharply and suddenly decreased.

In people with penises, low sex drive is sometimes connected with erectile dysfunction (ED). In people who have vaginas, a lack of sexual desire is associated with the condition called FSIAD, an abbreviation for female sexual interest/arousal disorder, which also includes an inability to experience orgasm and painful sensations during penetration.

Let us look closer at possible causes and possible solutions.

Physical Causes of Low Libido

Sometimes, an abrupt drop in your sex drive can be caused by a latent health issue. This is why, if you start asking yourself “why can’t I get horny anymore”, the good idea is to take this question to your family doctor, who is well-equipped to help you search for the origin of the problem.

Hormonal imbalances

Hormones rule our health and our well-being, that is a fact. Surgery connected to the reproductive organs, the age-based decline of hormone levels (menopause in women and andropause in men), hormonal therapy, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and obesity—all of these change the fine chemical balance in our bodies with the fallout that may as well include sexual arousal (and its absence). Besides, hormone changes can make sex unpleasant, and therefore, undesirable. For example, vaginal dryness, which is a consequence of menopause in AFAB persons, makes intercourse simply painful.

Medications

Side effects of some medications, such as certain antidepressants, anticonvulsants, benzodiazepines, etc., include a negative impact on libido.

Chronic health conditions

Chronic conditions, such as diabetes or thyroid disorders, especially when poorly managed, affect the organism in a whole range of negative ways. This includes hormonal balance, cardiovascular system, and mental health, and may cause, even if only indirectly, sexual dysfunction.

Psychological Causes of Low Libido

Our mental health is closely connected with how our body functions and the problem with getting aroused may be related to your emotional feelings.

Stress and anxiety

When you are overloaded with work issues, household chores, caring about your children or elderly, or simply constantly living in a highly stress-inducing environment, the stress hormones levels in your body skyrocket which affects your health in general and your sexual life in particular.

Depression

Decreased libido can belong to the symptoms of depression, especially in combination with overall low energy, insomnia, weight and appetite changes, etc.

Relationship issues

Unsolved conflicts with the partner, unprocessed emotions, and lack of healthy communication, trust, and feeling safe and confident can force you to unconsciously avoid intimacy which manifests as numbness in response to sexual stimulation.

History of trauma or abuse

A previous traumatic experience connected to sex, can result in low or zero sex drive. It can be part of a coping mechanism created by the psyche to protect the person from such situations happening again. In some cases, unprocessed negative emotions created by this trauma, become associated with sex and avert the person from it.

Other

Sometimes, imposed principles, stereotypes, or beliefs are on the way to enjoying full and deep sexual life, intimate connection with another person, and exploring the sensuality of your body. There are a lot of them, such as poor body image in comparison with what is heavily marketed, ageist limitations (thinking you are not entitled to have sexual pleasure when you are older than specific age), the idea of sex as something bad or dirty, etc.

Lifestyle Factors and Low Libido

Our daily routine, habits, nutrition, and physical activity are deeply connected to our health. When your lifestyle is far from ideal, this is reflected in many aspects, including libido as well.

Diet and lack of exercise

Bad nutrition and lack of micronutrients create a variety of deficiencies that have an impact on your energy levels, hormones, vitals, etc. And sedentary lifestyle leads to cardiovascular problems that very much contribute to the development of ED and FSIAD.

Substance abuse

Many addictive substances cause hormonal disruptions. This goes, for example, to marijuana, cocaine, and heroin. Furthermore, long-term drug use leads to serious changes not just in the general health of the user, but the nervous system in particular. It affects how the person responds to exterior stimuli, including sexual ones.

Lack of sleep

Not getting enough sleep is linked to high levels of cortisol, a so-called stress hormone. Insomnia, anxiety, and poor schedule resulting in not having eight to nine hours of good night rest lead to hormonal imbalance, mood swings, fatigue, and other issues that are incompatible with normal libido. Honestly, when your eyes are closing but you cannot sleep for some reason, the question of “why can’t I feel horny” transforms into “when would I rest properly”.

Cause CategorySpecific CausesPotential Solutions
Physical CausesHormonal imbalances, Medications, Chronic health conditionsConsult with a doctor, Hormonal replacement therapy
Psychological CausesStress and anxiety, Depression, Relationship issues, History of trauma or abuse, Other mental barriersPsychotherapy, Counseling, Address underlying mental health conditions
Lifestyle FactorsDiet and lack of exercise, Substance abuse, Lack of sleepLifestyle changes, Balanced diet, Physical activity, Adequate sleep, Substance abuse treatment

Low Libido Treatment

Luckily for us, sexual arousal disorder and erectile dysfunction can be manageable. If you discover that you can’t get turned on by a man or woman as you used to, consult your doctor and start on the path to having a satisfactory sexual life.

Medical treatments

If the origin of low libido lies in the functional disorder, the patient may require medications. They will vary depending on what caused the problem: from hormonal replacement therapy to a simple vitamin supplement.

Lifestyle changes

A healthy and wholesome lifestyle, including a balanced diet, sports, good sleep, and ditching bad habits, will do wonders for your well-being. When you feel less stressed, more energetic, and more optimistic, your libido will likely get back to normal.

Psychotherapy

Counseling is invaluable in processing trauma, overcoming harmful and negative thoughts, or finding mutual understanding with your partner.

Summary

Your normal libido is not something that is defined in books. The desirable level of sexual activity depends only on you and your individual needs. When you feel unsatisfied, that is an indicator of a problem that can be solved by open communication with medical professionals and your partner, determination, and willingness to make changes in your life.

FAQ

Why am I finding it harder to get turned on?

If you started to think “why can’t I stay horny”, it is a sign of low libido. It can be caused by various reasons that can be identified with the help of your doctor.

What causes a lack of horniness?

Decreased or absent sexual desire can be a consequence of different physical and mental health issues.

Why do I not feel sexually active?

Our sexual activity is not constant and varies depending on many things. If you do not feel a sex drive for a long time, it is unusual for you, and worries you, consult a medical specialist to address the problem.